If you have gone to our villages, or maybe low-income homes in our cities and towns, you must have noticed the prevailing love and sweetness in most of them. Those people might not have a four wheeler, they might not be able to afford a gala dinner every other day, or they might not even wear fashionable expensive clothes, but a sort of satisfaction is there. Of course, they do have a desire for better and more, but with a satisfaction with what they already have. And also an air of love, which they would not compromise even for the best of luxuries. The crisis comes when there is a conflict between the two — luxury and love. But somehow I feel that if a loving family and a connected society is there, who stand by you in difficult times, then rest does not matter much. Ceremonies, education etc do require financial strength, and several methods have to be explored to get things done. Still, to a great extent, beyond love, peace, and satisfaction, very less matters. This is the way happy families live and prosper.
Then few members of the family have to move out for education or career; still they stay connected with their mothers, their sisters through communication, gifts and visits. Physical separation does affect the bond, but does not sever ties. And they do try to move back closer to their homes. There is some type of a binding force which keeps them glued to their families and their roots. They have tasted and smelled the affection from the past. So my friend, you may imagine what must be the state of mind of a person who has moved away — never to return. That particular bond is missing; love, affection, companionship, connection is missing. The sad transition could make an appearance in any way — neglect of their existence, of their interest, free thought, denial of a minimum level of affection which every child and in fact, every individual walking on the planet yearns for, and deserves. The greatest deficit is a lack of communication and connection. Lack of respect. Sense of being ignored. Yes, their very existence is ignored. It seems to them that it does not matter to anybody whether they are there or not. So they choose to move out. Or in case they had already moved out, they would find the corroboration of their conjecture every other day. They would see families of the people around them, and see how they stand together in the moments of crisis, and stay together in celebrations. On the other hand, this person has to face all life’s battles and victories all alone. Bonds become weaker, whatever had remained also fades away in oblivion. What remain are the entries on certificates and documents. Yes, that remains of a ‘family’.
I have a thought that youth deciding to leave the home and deciding never to come back, do not do it always in pursuit of luxury. In most of the cases, there is also a missing bond or force which could have pulled them back. They had been ignored for so long — mostly when they required the companionship and support the most — that they snap all the ties. Who is to be blamed?
Not just out of families, instead it also holds in the case of youth leaving the country forever, settling abroad and securing citizenship — the so-called brain-drain. Oh! At last someone recognized their mental strength and acumen after they have left. No wonder, we happen to miss things when we lose them forever or cannot have them any more. Much has been said about this brain-drain; the patriotism, commitment and dedication of these youth are questioned and enormous assault is launched on them to force them to come back. No result. Then debates and discussions are held, committees are formed, lucrative offers and schemes are announced. No effect. Articles are written, books are released, and officials pay visits and meet them in person. Again no result. It has to be so, because the focus has always been on the luxury factor — it is a pre-conceived notion that the youth have migrated to pursue the heaven of their dreams. It is not always so. Just like within a family, and within cities and villages, the same way between countries also, a person moves permanently and severs ties only when there is no attraction for the past — of whatever form.
In summary, give them a country which they could be proud of, where they could live with peace and satisfaction. On a personal level, give them recognition, respect and love. There would be no reason to leave or to stay away. The more I move ahead in my life, and meet people and share experiences, the more I get convinced that we value things only when we have lost them or cannot have them any more.
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