It may sound counter-intuitive and is definitely completely opposite to what people in general claim. But I carry the opinion that if someone tries to change you — in whatever way — it means he does not love you. Those who want to change you or want you to change your lifestyle or way of thinking, simply want you to make them happy, they are merely using you to their advantage. If people love you, they would accept you the way you are. But what advantage do they fulfil by transforming? One factor is the general tendency to enlarge and boost their own ego by pointing out mistakes and flaws of others. This helps them in forgetting and ignoring their own shortcomings. This is the most widespread motivation behind criticism.
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How To Make The World Happy
Everyone seems to yearn to make the world happy— the leaders, the social workers, the teachers, the youth, the parents, everybody. Nobody has the formula; in fact, nobody even seems to have any idea about what happiness implies, yet such eagerness to spread joy! It is not surprising then that in this eagerness we only end up creating more chaos, those who we try to make happy become more sad, those we wanted to make happy end up becoming more miserable. A lot of effort and pain could have been saved if instead of trying to make others happy — that too without even knowing what it actually means — we ourselves become happy first. When we are happy and full of joy and love, that warmth is spread in our environment and those who come in our contact experience it as such. A blown out match stick cannot ignite a flame, only a burning one can do. If you yourself are sad, how can you bring happiness to others? A warm and beautiful smile on your face has the strength to lift people from depths of depression and dejection, to uplift spirits and give courage to people to move ahead in their lives with vigour and agility. Gloom spreads gloom, happiness spreads happiness. Again, happiness is the characteristic permanent state of a mind at peace with itself; it is not pleasure, which is momentary, transient and is only concerned with its own interests.
Emotions And Love
Emotions are not love. As long as you are in the trap of emotion, understand that you do not love. We have been brainwashed by movies, TV soaps and novels and poetry that emotions are synonymous with love. They are not. Emotions are like waves — they have ebbs and crests, they come and go, one moment when you are with your beloved, you are joyful, the moment he is gone, you become sad, he does not reciprocate your affection, you become upset, he resists, you become offended or angry. Is that love? Love is like a steady flame in still air; it does not waver, it does not flicker. It remains constant in joy and sorrow, difficult and easy times, it only gives but does not ask for anything in return. It is only concerned with spreading happiness, and that is all it knows. Wherever there is love, there is no pain; wherever there is pain, there is no love. With emotions you are concerned with yourself, while with love you think only of your beloved.
Conflict And Love
The whole world is in conflict, either in the form of war or disputes. In families there are conflicts in relations. If you observe closely, you would discover a conflict within yourself — your ideals and philosophy against the practical wisdom on how to survive the world. Your professional life is nearly always in conflict with your personal life.
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How The Mind Helps In Sustaining Relationships
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In one of my earlier posts i mentioned the importance of maintaining a harmony among different planes of our being — physical, mental and spiritual. In another post I explored various reasons behind the over-occupation with the physical while ignoring the mental plane. My hypothesis is that this preoccupation is due to an eagerness to impress others who are more likely to see our physical plane rather than the mental plane.
Continue readingStories That Influenced Me: The Beggar At Bus Stop
Photo source: huffingtonpost.in
This story had appeared in Navabharat Times and is among the shortest pieces of fiction I have read. This story showed how intense emotion can be generated even with very few words, so that elaborate melodrama is absolutely not required. Now, in the beginning itself, let me raise the alert that the philosophy of the story is debatable. I myself couldn’t convince myself to the thinking of this story. This is a complex world, circumstances do not follow any computer algorithm; people are not logical creatures — it is not necessary that any person would act the same way in all possible circumstances and would deal with everybody in absolutely same fashion irrespective of the state of mind or circumstances. Anyway, let me narrate the story. Continue reading
Stories That Influenced Me: The Night Bus
I had gone to Delhi for some exam and was now returning to Rishikesh by evening bus. It is a usual practice among students to make the 6-hour night journey to take various competitive exams. Buses were efficient and comfortable. Bus journeys also allow us to come across different people from different backgrounds and help us see the different shades of this colourful world. Continue reading
अनायास प्राप्त वस्तु का सम्मान नहीं किया जाता
पेड-पौधे, जन्तु-जानवर आदि के बारे में गहरी जानकारी रखने में मेरी कभी दिलचस्पी नहीं रही, इसलिए मुझे अधिकांश पेडों और जन्तुओं का नाम नहीं पता । यह स्थिति और अधिक कठिन तब हो जाती है जब किसी दूसरी भाषा में कोई लेख पढा जा रहा हो । अब जब अपनी ही भाषा में पौधों का नाम नहीं पता, तो भला दूसरी भाषा में क्या पता चलेगा ! Continue reading
Few Kind Words
Hope your Valentine’s Day went nice. It is a good respite in otherwise unpleasant times. In spite of all suggestions to the contrary, humanity has never given up on love — using the word in the most general sense and not confining to the physical world. Hence we see it being kept alive through movies, novels, songs, political speeches . . . Continue reading
What is in Name? A Lot!
— Did I keep you waiting for long?
— No, not much. We too came just a while ago.
— Ordered?
— No, not yet. We were waiting for you to come. What would you like to have? Tea, coffee, cold drink?
— Tea.
— Any special one? Special, less sugar, more sugar, black tea, ginger tea, lemon tea…
— Stop stop. Nothing of that sort. Just ordinary, plain tea.
— Anything with it? Samosa, pakoda…
— Stop it man! Just go and order whatever you want to eat. I would take only tea.
— OK fine. As you wish. Chhotoo!
— Is that his name?
— No, just like that.
— Then?
— How could I know?
— Did you ask?
— Who cares!
How many people take for granted the name of the person who comes to clean their offices, or the postman, the milkman, tea man, canteen fellow, shopkeeper. Have you yourself ever been curious? It is strange that people hardwire to their brains the names of all cricketers, footballers — not from their own country but also from others, of movie stars — people whom one never meets, has no chance of meeting either, and it does not make any difference if one meets or not. But one doesn’t show the same enthusiasm to discover or simply query the name of the person whom one meets every day — on a routine basis. Simply because they are not important? But aren’t they?
It is not the same as the innumerable ways people call their little ones — king, queen, prince, princess, angel, fairy, pearl, diamond, bird. Also not the same as the nickname they put for them, sometimes a shortened form of their formal names, sometimes an entirely different name; or the ones that their classmates and friends choose for them — naughty, diminutive, stupid, and affectionate. But here, there is neither any affection, nor a circumvention for comparatively longer and complicated names. Here, it is complete apathy, lack of concern for the people whom one considers ‘less important’, their identity, in fact their existence in our world. It would not be practical to keep querying the names and remembering all of them of all the people one encounters in the journey through life — people whom one meets in buses, trains, trips, other places and cities. Instead, we are talking here about the people one meets daily, on a routine basis, who mean so much for our comfort, if not for survival, yet are taken for granted.
Then there are so many of us who can’t even take the smallest trouble to spell correctly (in writing) others’ names. Isn’t it simply an utter contempt and disregard towards the other person? All our big words of admiration and respect do not sound honest then. It hardly takes less than a minute to carefully observe the person’s name in its correct form and to commit it to memory. Even for few complicated words, especially from other cultures, one can invent formulae and mnemonics (without telling the person, of course).
Surely it all depends on whether and how much respect one wants to give the other person. If the answer is in negative, then what is the point in starting with the communication and connection at all? Let us not forget that the sweetest sounding word for any individual from any country and culture and speaking any language is not the name of God, instead it is one’s own name.
Now, here is something to cheer you up:
— Such a sweet child! What is your name, little one?
— Monu.
— No, no, not that. The school name.
— Bal Bharti Public School.
Pradyot 