Tag Archives: thoughts

Transformation Within A Relationship

It may sound counter-intuitive and is definitely completely opposite to what people in general claim. But I carry the opinion that if someone tries to change you — in whatever way — it means he does not love you. Those who want to change you or want you to change your lifestyle or way of thinking, simply want you to make them happy, they are merely using you to their advantage. If people love you, they would accept you the way you are. But what advantage do they fulfil by transforming? One factor is the general tendency to enlarge and boost their own ego by pointing out mistakes and flaws of others. This helps them in forgetting and ignoring their own shortcomings. This is the most widespread motivation behind criticism.

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How The Mind Helps In Sustaining Relationships

In one of my earlier posts i mentioned the importance of maintaining a harmony among different planes of our being — physical, mental and spiritual. In another post I explored various reasons behind the over-occupation with the physical while ignoring the mental plane. My hypothesis is that this preoccupation is due to an eagerness to impress others who are more likely to see our physical plane rather than the mental plane.

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Harmony Is The Essence Of Life

Our individual self consists of body, mind and soul. However, the focus of nearly all our activities is on the body — taking food, doing exercise, and doing things which bring pleasure to our senses. This is further encouraged by print, electronic and social media through regular columns, advertisements and programmes. On the other hand, few people take interest in mental pursuits like reading books, writing, contemplating, analysing, and having deep, thoughtful and meaningful discussions with companions and colleagues. In our society, mental pursuits are mostly limited to collecting degrees and passing competitive exams. And the third part — the soul — is nearly always ignored. Nobody takes a pause to look into oneself, to connect with one’s own self, to search for the meaning of existence and life. So, in a way we are living life with only one-third of ourselves — the body. But mind and soul also demand our attention. If we have ignored our mind all along, then in moments of crisis, we have no idea what to do, we get restless and even trivial problems throw us into panic. And when the soul is starved, we feel it in the form of emptiness and vacuum inside. It is like a child crying out when it is hungry. Only that person leads a truly successful and happy life who gives equal attention to body, mind and soul. 

photo credit: rajagopal_rajeev Tracking an Ibis flock via photopin (license)